This was the second time I had applied for the CAO, the Central Application's Office, which would determine which course I would go onto study in college. The first time I applied was when I sat my Leaving Certificate in 2010. Once the stress & dread of the Leaving Cert results had come & passed, the CAO offers were all that was on your mind.
I had applied to do the Bachelor of Arts degree in National University of Maynooth (NUIM) that first time around. When I awoke to the offer I was delighted. The course was my first choice & I was delighted with myself. My father was ecstatic as I was the first member of his family to actually get into college.
Orientation week came & passed and I began to get into the swing of things. I loved college. Well, I loved the social aspect of college, the actual academics were the problem. Only one other girl from my secondary school had come into the college with me, so I had to make new friends & that I did. Friends who I call my best friends now 3 years later.
While I was meeting up with these new friends, heading to the Student's Union bar & participating in the typical college activities, I was unaware that, even though I was having fun with them, I wasn't furthering myself academically. I actually hated my course to put it bluntly.
I got through 1st year anyway, how I did is beyond me as I did zero work. Before I knew it, 2nd year was coming around knocking on the door. Straight off the bat I fell back into the swing of drinking with my college friends. I loved the social aspect of it all. I just love making friends and having a good time. Many of my friends lived on campus where as I lived at home, so it was a bit of freedom that I lapped up and also envied.
Needless to say the whole year continued in this routine & before I knew it the school year had finished & I had failed. Horrendously. The worst part of it all was that, being honest, I didn't care. I think that was a sign that I wasn't happy in my course. If I was disappointed with myself for failing, then surely that would have meant more. I wasn't thinking at the time at all and when the time came to re-register for college I decided to repeat 2nd year. I had a long talk with myself & realised that I actually had to start making something of myself, so I thought it was the best thing to do.
I re-registered, back into 2nd year I went, my college friends all now in final year. Was I jealous? Sure a little bit but I saw it as an opportunity to put my head in the books. That lasted for about two months max. I began to miss college completely. I would rarely go in & I handed up little to no course work. I had to get two buses to the campus and I just wasn't bothered anymore. I was a complete slacker, lying to my parents that college wasn't on these days or saying I was heading in when I would go to town with friends. To say my parents were less than impressed with me when they eventually found out is an understatement.
I don't know what happened but one day I just reassessed my life. Other events had recently happened so I was in a new, yet promising place. I woke up and copped on that what I was doing wasn't entertaining me and I had to sort myself out. I began thinking about what appeals to me. The BA course was one which my teachers & family members had recommended to me. I was 17 years old, an age which I still think is so young too decide what you want to do with the rest of your life, so I took on their advice. I agreed with them, it wasn't all their fault.
So, at 20 years old, when I began to reassess myself, I was thinking of what I wanted to do. I'm interested in; Entertainment, Writing, Celebs, World Affairs, General Knowledge & Babble. I just enjoy learning things about anything & everything & writing my opinions on them. I enjoy making people laugh & also educating others as well as being educated. Therefore I decided to pursue a course in Journalism and yesterday, I was offered a place in that exact course.
When I clicked onto my CAO account to view my offer I was beyond nervous, especially since I had wasted the past 10 months by completely dropping out of college, I was worried I had made the wrong decision. Not only had I wasted the past 10 months, I had also wasted the past 3 years. Seeing that offer for Journalism thrilled me so much. I can't wait to start in 3 weeks time. Sure, I'll be three years older than some of my fellow undergrads but I'm in a much better place in my life in every sense & now doing something I actually want to do, it can only go up from here.
For anyone out there who is unhappy in their current situation, whatever it may be, stop, think about it & do what YOU want to do, not what others want you to do.
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